How to Do Something Your Don Know: How to Overcome Personal Crisis

Life tends to throw curveballs, and you may feel completely unprepared when they come your way. Whether you are facing difficulties in life related to your health, relationships, finances or any other area, you may be feeling overwhelmed and unsure of how to move forward. By managing the issue, practicing self-care, and developing a plan, you can work to overcome crises that will arise in your life.

EditSteps

EditManaging a Crisis

Set a schedule. One of the first ways that you can begin to manage an issue that crops up in your life is to set a schedule and follow it diligently. You may feel that things are in disarray, but a schedule and routine will help to restore order into your life. You may be unsure of the outcome of the crisis, but at least you can find some comfort in establishing a pattern.^[1]
- Consider either using an online calendar to document all of your appointments and meetings or using a paper calendar.
Talk to your boss and coworkers. During this time, you may need a bit of a respite from work or just need more support from your coworkers in general. Communicate with your team about this. You do not need to get into the nitty gritty details of the issue unless it is work-related, but you should share enough so that they understand your need to step back a bit.^[2]
- You might say something like “I wanted to let you all know that I am dealing with some issues at home. I will work to ensure that these issues do not affect my work, but I may need a bit of extra support during this time.”
Delegate, if possible. If you are in the position to, delegate some tasks to others. If you are feeling overwhelmed at work, assign some of your tasks to coworkers or interns. If you have a subordinate or supervisee who is looking for more experience, they will likely be a great resource to you during this time.
- Try assigning some basic level tasks to them first to assess how they perform. If they do well, you can give them assignments that are progressively more difficult until your crisis abates.
- You might also ask your boss to delegate some of your tasks to others, particularly to those who are your equals in rank in the office.
Don’t take on new projects. During a time of personal crisis, it is unwise to take on new assignments at work. Rather than giving yourself more work, focus instead on being a good steward of the work you are currently tasked with.^[3]
Consider taking some time off. You may want to take a bit of time away from the office. Getting some space from work can be very helpful in clearing your head and rejuvenating your spirits in the midst of a crisis. The length of time you stay away will be up to your discretion, but remain mindful that the longer you stay away from work, it may be increasingly more difficult to get back into the routine of things.
- Check and see how much vacation time you have and make a decision based on that. Perhaps you will want to take no more than half of that time.
Talk to your family and friends. During a time of personal crisis, you will need to rely on your friends and family. Communicate with them regularly and keep them updated, especially if the crisis will affect them. Have conversations about how to move forward as well as about how they can help you during this time.^[4]
- You might say something like “I know that I’ve told you about my health issues, but I wanted to let you know that things have gotten a bit worse. I’ve been to the doctor a few times and may have to have surgery. But I want you to know that I will keep you updated at every step.”
Learn to say no. During a time of crisis, you may need to be a bit selfish at times. Remember it is necessary to maintain healthy boundaries, and saying no is often a part of that. For example, if you always host an annual cookout for Memorial Day but are not feeling up to it this year, remind yourself that it is okay to say no.^[5]
- Suggest to friends or family members that they take over the task instead, if they are willing and able.
Be kind. Your family may be undergoing this crisis with you. Show great empathy and care for them during this time. Though you should be taking care of yourself, don’t forget the people who love you and who you love. Do little acts of kindness for them and don’t neglect your responsibilities to them, as much as is possible.^[6]
- For instance, if you have children, they still rely on you and will need you. Remain as present as possible by being involved in their school, bedtime rituals, etc.
Accept and grieve the situation. This personal crisis may be one of the most difficult situations that you have ever encountered. However, you must accept it as reality. Don’t stop yourself from crying and feeling the range of emotions that you are experiencing; research shows that holding back tears can actually be more harmful in the long run.
- Don’t wallow in the situation, either. Instead, begin thinking about taking action to improve your circumstances.
- Schedule time every day to grieve, and try to limit your grief to those specific times. Many counselors suggest this so that their patients do not get caught up in endless sessions of sadness.

EditDeveloping a Plan

Develop a list of options. While you should continue to cope and take care of yourself, you will also want to begin thinking of ways to abate your crisis and solve it effectively. Begin working out some potential solutions to your crisis and considering ways to move forward.^[7]
- For instance, if you have recently found out that your spouse cheated, you might consider divorce, reconciliation, counseling, or a trial separation.
Write out a list of pros and cons. Upon consideration of your options, write out a list of pros and cons of taking either approach. This will help you to more concretely choose a plan that works best for you and to begin developing a path to execute.
- For instance, if you have recently gone bankrupt, you might consider getting a part time job, which would mean more money. But if you have children, you will also need to consider childcare, which may not be available to you.
Make a decision and create a to-do list. Once you have chosen the more preferable solution for you, make a to-do list on how to enact this plan. Set goals for yourself and work to meet them. With each step that you complete, you will be closer and closer to being crisis-free.^[8]
- For instance, if you have chosen to sell your home after a divorce, you might include tasks like finding a realtor, listing your home online, setting a price, etc.
Prioritize. Recognize that some tasks should take precedence over others. Assign priority levels to assess importance and to help you determine which items to complete first in crisis management.^[9]
- For instance, if you have recently been diagnosed with diabetes, you might prioritize changing your diet first and exercising as second.
Enlist the help of others. Humans are designed to be interdependent. Though you may be completely capable of handling this crisis, there is strength in numbers. Remember also that you do not know everything and that others may have had similar experiences that will allow them to give you good advice. Ask others for help and for assistance in keeping you accountable to your plan.^[10]

EditPracticing Self-Care

Practice self-soothing techniques. Though at times the stress may feel like too much to handle, remember that you are in control of yourself and your emotions. Though you cannot control others, you can regulate your own responses. Practice self-soothing techniques like deep breathing and positive self-talk to combat stress.^[11]
- Breathe in deeply and slowly through your nose. Exhale through your mouth. Repeat until you feel calm.
- Use self talk by repeating phrases like “It will all be okay” to yourself when you begin to feel upset.
- Listen to music, take a walk, or have a snack. Get your mind off of the issue, if only temporarily.
Release as many stressors as possible. Though there are certain responsibilities that you may be unable to get out of, like work, there are many others that you do not necessarily have to attend to during this time. Let go of anything that is stressful for you that you do not need in your life. Work to alleviate any other stressors that you cannot get rid of.^[12]
- For example, if you volunteer each week and the experience is stressful or you feel like you don’t have enough hours in the day, then consider dropping this for a while.
- Or if at home you are feeling stressed because it is your primary responsibility to care for the dog, ask a relative or friend to care for your animal for a while, if possible.
Get away for a bit. Plan a vacation, either for yourself or with family or friends, even if it’s only for one day. A trip is a great way to provide some respite for yourself from the crisis. It is also a great way to experience some positivity in spite of your troubles.^[13]
- If your personal crisis is financial, then you might want to consider a ‘staycation,’ instead. This entails planning activities at home that will provide enjoyment and fun.
- Remember also that a vacation will not solve your issues and that you will have to face them when you return.
Avoid alcohol or drugs. When facing a crisis, it can be tempting to turn to certain substances that will take your mind off things completely and allow you a temporary escape. Be mindful that increased drug and alcohol use will only intensify your crisis and may even lead to addiction, which will be an entirely new battle.^[14]
- Try to have less alcohol during this time so that you don’t make decisions rashly.
- Avoid being around others who are using drugs or alcohol.
Maintain your health. Make sure that during this time you do not forget to take care of your body. Make sure that you are eating well and regularly, exercising two to three times per week, and getting at least seven hours of sleep per night (preferably eight to 10).
- Increase your intake of fruits and vegetables and decrease sugar intake.
- Join a gym or do some workouts from home.
- Set a sleep schedule and adhere to it.
See a counselor. Sometimes, a crisis may be too much for you to cope with alone. If you are feeling very overwhelmed or like your situation is worsening, consider seeing a therapist. Feelings of anxiety, depression, nervousness, or panic may be helped by some sessions with a counselor. Remember that there is no stigma in supporting your mental health. A counselor will help you work through your issues constructively.^[15]
- In some cases, a medication such as an antidepressant might be appropriate. Talk to your primary practitioner or a psychiatrist about whether or not this is a good option to help you through this difficult time.