As if dieting isn’t hard enough, dealing with diet saboteurs can make you feel alone and defeated. Unfortunately, many diet saboteurs are the people closest to us, like our friends and family members. However, by confronting your saboteurs you may be able to turn them into supporters instead. If confrontation does not work, then you may need to avoid some people altogether until you feel secure and stable in your diet. Additionally, a support group or a personal coach may help you stay on track and provide you with encouragement when your saboteurs hold you back.
EditSteps
EditConfronting Your Saboteurs
- Acknowledge their feelings. People who are sabotaging your diet may do so because they feel guilty, do not understand your plight, or miss the "old you", or due to a combination of these. By understanding where they are coming from, you may be able to empathize with them. This will help you find the right words to make your confrontation a successful one.[1]
- Changing your life may prompt other friends and family to feel like they should be doing the same thing, which makes them feel guilty. This can cause them to either consciously or unconsciously sabotage your diet. Ask them to join you.
- People who have never dealt with a weight problem simply do not understand how difficult it is to diet and lose weight. Help them see that your weight is a valid struggle and a serious issue.
- Others may miss the food experiences you both once enjoyed together, like dessert at restaurants and boutiques. Reassure them that your diet does not change how you feel about them.
- Prepare what you will say. Write down what you will say to the person and how you will say it. Remember to use “I” statements instead of “you” statements. Once you have written it down, practice your speech in front of a mirror.[2]
- Instead of saying, “You are sabotaging my diet and weight loss,” say, “I feel that whenever we hang out, I cannot stick to my diet.”
- Keep your speech simple, succinct, and direct.
- Find a place and time to talk. Don’t confront the person publicly in front of others. Instead, talk with them privately in a comfortable environment. Also, try not to confront them when they are busy, stressed, or angry. If you do, they are less likely to focus on what you’re saying, and more likely to misinterpret your words.[3]
- If the saboteur is a colleague, resist the urge to email them instead of talking face-to-face.
- Find out when they can sit down and talk, and invite them for a cup of coffee or to your place to address the issue.
- If you are dealing with multiple saboteurs, talk with them individually instead of as a group.
- Remain calm. Remember to remain calm and assertive. If just thinking about the confrontation incites feelings of anger or remorse, then you are not ready to confront the person. Also, wait until you have filtered out other issues and emotions that are not relevant to the issue at hand.[4]
- Enlist their support. After you have stated your case, try to find a solution or alternative that will satisfy both of your wants and needs. Let them know how much they mean to you, as well as how much it would mean if you had their full support.[5]
- For example, “You are my best friend and I want you to help me succeed. This is really hard, so I need your full support. Plus, I think it would be a great way for us to bond and grow our friendship.”
EditFinding Other Strategies
- Avoid persistent saboteurs. If the confrontation does not fix the issue, then you may need to avoid this person for a while. You can either reduce your contact with them or eliminate it altogether depending on the issue’s severity. By doing this, they may get the idea that you are serious about your weight loss.[6]
- Alternatively, you can choose to just ignore the person whenever they begin to tempt you or make comments about your weight or weight loss. However, this method is recommended for those who have been committed to their diet for a while and feel secure in their diet.
- Keep your own healthy snacks. This is really helpful if your diet saboteurs are your colleagues and coworkers. Bring healthy alternatives like fruit, eggs, tuna, yogurt, and veggies to work with you. If your coworkers offer you a piece of cake or banana bread, you can politely say, “No, thank you. I brought my own snacks to eat today.”[7]
- If they are very persistent, you can always accept the food, and “save” it for later. Then, once everyone has left the office, you can throw it out.
- You can also offer to bring treats that contain less fat and sugar.
- Attend gatherings later. Unfortunately, some saboteurs are unavoidable, like family members. However, you can avoid sabotaging moments by arriving to family gatherings after everyone has eaten. Instead, eat your own healthy meal at home and then make your way to the gathering.
- You could also try hosting more family events at your house where you have a little more control over the types of food at the event.
- Educate your close friends and family. Help your close friends and family members, like your grandma who loves to bake pies, understand why you are making changes to your diet. Bring pamphlets from your doctor or a weight loss program to help them see and understand why you need to make changes. This will reinforce the idea that you are serious about making changes to your diet.[8]
- Also, let close family members know which actions are helping or hindering your progress. For example, let your grandma know that offering pies is very tempting because you love them so much.
- Make sure close friends and family know that your diet choices are not a reflection of how much you love or hate them.
EditCreating a Supportive Environment
- Recruit friends and family. As soon as you begin your diet, try to recruit your closest friends and family members. By doing this from the beginning, you can turn potential saboteurs into supporters. Talk with friends and family and individually. Let them know how important your diet and weight loss is to you.[9]
- For example, “I will be trying a new diet. It would mean the world to me if you were there to support me every step of the way. I know we get dessert every Friday after work, but we can take trips to the park instead.”
- Join a support group. You can always join a support group like Weight Watchers, or an online group, like Weight Loss Buddy or 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet. Support groups are great for finding and making new friends who have the same goals as you.[10]
- Hire a personal trainer. Personal trainers and life coaches are great if you need one-on-one mentorship. A mentor will help you stick to your diet during the most challenging moments. Mentors can also provide encouragement and strategies to help you cope with diet saboteurs.[11]
- Find a personal trainer at your local gym. Tell them your goals and how you envision them helping you achieve these goals.
EditTips
- Don't take it personally when you feel like people are sabotaging your weight loss.
- When you feel sabotaged, remind yourself of your own goals and reasons for losing weight.
EditSources and Citations
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