How to Do Something Your Don Know: How to Help Fidgety Kids Sit Still

A bit of fidgeting is normal, especially in kids and teenagers. If your child fidgets a lot, you may be wondering how to help them sit calmly and focus. If you notice a certain child fidgeting a lot, here is how to handle it.

EditSteps

EditEncouraging a Healthy Lifestyle

Encourage adequate exercise. One factor that may make children more fidgety is a lack of exercise.^[1] Children should get at least 60 minutes or more of physical activity a day. Any physical activity that accelerates your child’s heart rate will help them burn off excess energy, allowing them to focus.^[2]
- Consider having kids play games and sports that encourage a lot of physical activity, like tag or soccer. You might also encourage them to jump rope, practice animal walks, do some wall pushups, or simply run around in the park.^[3]
Promote a healthy diet. In some children, fidgeting and an inability to concentrate may be the result of a poor diet. Sugary foods, such as soft drinks and sweets, cause a spike in activity followed by a quick crash in energy. In order to help children stay focused, try to promote a diet that is high in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean meats. This will ensure that your children are eating foods that will supply them with a steady source of energy throughout the day.^[4]
- Choose calming foods for snacks, like low-fat cheese, low-fat yogurt, whole grain crackers, nuts or seeds, and veggies, instead of foods with lots of sugar.^[5]
Make sure that lots of stimulating activities are available. Sometimes, kids can get restless because they're bored. Keep options available so that the child can find something to do if they are bored.
- High-energy activities, like jump ropes and mini trampolines, can help a child burn off excess energy.
- Include some activities that children can do for longer periods, like books, toys, puzzles, and coloring books.
Spend one-on-one time with your child each day. Sometimes, kids act out a little because they feel like they aren't getting enough attention. Your child may be a bit more peaceful if they get some attention from you.
- If your child seems bored, you can always ask "Are you bored? Do you feel like hanging out?" You can also encourage your child to ask you to do things with them (e.g. inviting you to draw pictures or go for a walk) when they want attention.
- Encourage your child to communicate their feelings and talk about them.
Develop relaxation practices. Anxiety is another factor that can cause children to be fidgety. To help your children feel less anxious, teach them mindfulness practices, such as meditation and controlled breathing. This will help them manage their anxiety and concentrate on their tasks.^[6]
- Mindfulness practices are a great way to teach a kid to handle distractions and hone their concentration.
- Children can also do yoga and meditation to help them relax and self-soothe. Look for kid-friendly videos online, such as “Cosmic Kids Yoga” and “Stop, Breathe and Think Kids.”
- If your child is particularly anxious, you should talk with them about their anxiety. You may also want to consult a mental health professional if the anxiety appears severe.
Eliminate distractions. Fidgeting can be the result of external distractions. For example, music, a playing television, or noises from outside may distract your child from their task. If you want your child to concentrate and not fidget, be sure to remove anything that may distract them. Turn off any loud appliances and try to create an environment that is peaceful and relatively quiet.
- If outside noises are a distraction, you might consider using a white noise machine, playing ambient music, or providing your child with noise-cancelling headphones.
- Fidget toys are less likely to help typically developing children. You can try fidget toys, but for kids without disabilities, they may be more harmful than helpful. See what works for your child.

EditManaging Fidgety Behavior

Create realistic expectations. In some cases, it is the adults who need to adjust their expectations about how long a child can sit still. Some fidgeting is normal for children. Keep in mind that the average attention span for a child is their chronological age plus 1, in minutes. Therefore, a 6-year-old has an attention span of around 7 minutes. Be mindful of this and don’t expect a child to sustain an activity past their natural attention span.^[7]
Allow fidgeting. Some kids need to move more than others do, so if your child fidgets a lot, it's not something to worry about. Kinesthetic learners may need to move their bodies while learning and/or focusing.^[8]
- Fidgeting is also normal and healthy behavior in autism, ADHD, sensory processing disorder, and similar disabilities. Children with these disorders will probably need to fidget in order to sit calmly and focus.
- If you discourage a naturally fidgety child from fidgeting, they will spend all of their mental energy trying to stay still, which distracts them from their other tasks. As long as the fidgeting is not a distraction to others, you should allow fidgety behavior.
- For example, a child might find it helpful to swivel in their chair, twirl their hair, or tap their pencil.^[9]
Consider offering fidget toys. One way of proactively addressing fidgeting is by giving students fidget toys that allow them to fidget while they work. These toys are typically soft balls, like a stress ball, or objects that students can squeeze as they concentrate on a task. This ensures that the kids are not distracted by their own restlessness.^[10]
- Some kids (especially kids with disabilities) focus better with fidget toys. Others find them more distracting than helpful. Try them out with your child and see what happens.
- Coloring books are another way for kids to be physically active while concentrating on a task.
Use different types of seating. Various desks and chairs may help students work out their fidgeting issues while boosting their concentration. Standing desks allow students to move their legs while they work. Stability balls provide a similar amount of physical stimulation for kids with disabilities. A Hokki Stool is another seating device that allows students to fidget while not distracting those around them.^[11]
- If it is not too much of a distraction, you might consider allowing students with ADHD and related disabilities more time to walk around while they work on a task.
Redirect a child whose fidgeting is getting excessive. If a child is fidgeting to the point where they aren't focusing, it means they probably need to take a break to get up and move around.
- Remind children to respect others' personal space as needed. For example, if your child is fidgeting with another kid's hair, you could say "Annie, we always need to respect people's personal space when we fidget. You can play with your own hair or your toys, but it's not okay to play with Susie's hair without her permission."
- If the fidgeting isn't disruptive, then let it be.^[12]

EditRecognizing Developmental Disabilities

Realize that all kids fidget. All children fidget sometimes, and plenty of adults fidget from time to time also. Don't worry if your kid is a little more fidgety than average. It could just mean that you have an energetic kid.
Look for signs of ADHD, autism, and related disabilities. Fidgeting can be a sign of a developmental disability that impacts your child's ability to sit still. Learn the signs and see if they sound familiar.^[13]
- Inattentive type ADHD involves difficulty listening, daydreaming, and difficulty paying attention.
- Hyperactive type ADHD involves impulsivity, restlessness, excessive talking, and other signs.
- Autism involves a need for routine, intense interests, fidgeting, social confusion, and developmental delays and quirks.
- Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) involves over-sensitivity, under-sensitivity, and/or fidgeting used to calm oneself or stay occupied.
Talk to the child's teachers, and other adults who work with the child. Go to anyone who works with lots of children, because they have a good sense of what is typical and what is different. Ask them if they've noticed anything different about your child.
- If they say yes, don't panic. Whether your child has a disability or not, they can still have a happy and meaningful life. Plenty of kids with disabilities grow up into happy and healthy disabled adults.
Talk to a mental health professional. If you believe that your child is autistic or has ADHD, you should visit a mental health professional and have them assessed. It is important that a professional evaluate your child in order to receive a correct diagnosis and course of treatment. A mental health professional will likely give you some strategies for handling your child’s disability that may include things like medication or increased activity.^[14]
- Children with developmental disabilities may also have disorders like depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety, and behavior issues like conduct disorder and oppositional defiant disorder. If this is the case, finding the diagnosis/diagnoses can help you learn to identify and manage problems.