How to Do Something Your Don Know: How to Encourage Children to Ask Questions

Children are naturally curious and inquisitive. Asking questions is a great way for children to interact with their environment and build critical thinking skills.^[1] While it can be challenging at times to keep up with children’s questions, create an environment that children feel safe to ask questions and be curious in. Encourage children to ask questions in many environments, including home, school, religious or spiritual centers, around people, at events, and during confusing situations.

EditSteps

EditAsking Questions at Home

Allow curiosity. Adults often see the world through well-seasoned eyes, yet children are often seeing and experiencing things for the first time. This fills children with curiosity, wonder, and amazement.^[2] Children often ask questions out of curiosity and not as a way to be annoying. Encourage your child to ask questions and be curious by responding with things like "Wow! Great question — you must be a very curious boy!" and then answer. This helps the child see himself as a question-asker.
- See a child’s questions as an opportunity to engage with the child about something he is interested in.
Let your child ask “why” questions. While this question often leads to frustration for adults, it’s often important for children to know why certain cause and effect relationships happen. For example, if you ask your child to do something, she may be curious as to why it’s important to do that task or behave in a certain way. Allow your child the space to ask why.^[3]
- It’s important for children to know why things happen, why they need to be safe, why learning is important. Remind yourself that gaining information is important to your child.
- Be okay with saying you don't know the answer. If your child asks you a question you can't answer, it's okay to say, "You know, I don't know!" Follow this up by encouraging your child to find the answer, or say "Let's find out together" so you can show your child what resources are available to answer her questions and how to use them.
Value your child’s questions. If you get flustered or annoyed easily by your child’s questions, he may begin to think that you do not want to answer questions or that asking questions feels bad or is not okay. Focus on showing your child that questions matter by giving encouraging responses. This will encourage your child to ask questions freely and feel good about being curious.^[4]
- If your child asks a question during an inconvenient time, promise to look it up and answer the question later. Be sure to follow through later; set a reminder for yourself on your phone if you need to.
Pose questions to your child. Model asking questions in order to support your child asking questions. If your child asks you a question, ask one back to your child. This can help the child think critically or find a creative response. Asking questions back can help foster better social, emotional, and cognitive development.^[5]
- Initiate questions with your child. Ask questions around specific activities. If you’re playing with trains, ask, “Why do we use trains? What do we use trains for? Where do trains go?”
- If your child asks, “Why is that kid crying?” say back, “What do you think happened to make that child sad?” You can follow that questions with, “What things make you feel sad?”

EditSetting Up a Safe Environment to Learn

Create a secure space. Make sure all children know that asking questions is okay and that no one will criticize or judge questions. It is especially important for shy or insecure children to know that there is no “wrong” question. Discourage feedback or edits to the questions. Remind children that it’s okay to ask questions they do not know the answers to.^[6]
- Other kids may say, “That’s a dumb question.” Redirect attention and assure the children that all questions are respected.
Reward questions. Children are often rewarded for having the correct answer, and not for asking questions. Shift the focus to encourage questions. Give rewards for questions, even if the reward is just verbal praise. Children can learn that approaching topics through curiosity is rewarded, and rewards are not only for good test scores or high grades. This can encourage higher-level thinking and comprehension.^[7]
- For example, say, “I love that you’re asking questions. Let’s explore this further.” You can also say, “Wow, what a great question!”
Allow time for children to think of questions. Children may struggle to come up with questions at first. That’s okay. Allow them time to think and come up with ideas.^[8] You can designate specific “Question Times” when children think of questions they may want to ask.
- Don’t put a time limit on the process at first and let the children have time to think through their questions.
Roll with embarrassing questions. Children often ask what adults consider inappropriate or embarrassing questions, especially in public, such as: “Why is that girl in a wheelchair?” or “Why does that man have a different color skin?” Don’t shame or shush your child for asking these types of questions.^[9] This can make the child feel ashamed, guilty, or embarrassed for asking a question. Instead, answer matter-of-factly without making the child feel bad about asking the question.
- You can say, “Some people look different from you. Have you noticed that some people have glasses, some have curly hair, and some have different colored eyes? Every person is unique. Skin color is one way that people look different from you, but it doesn’t make people any different from you on the inside.”
Avoid offering examples. While you may think that giving examples may help a child build questions, they can set the child onto a specific path. You want her to come up with original questions without putting up limits. She may struggle to come up with questions, and that’s okay. If she urges you to give guidance, say, “Your questions can begin with what, when, or how.”^[10]
- You can also say, “I want to hear what you come up with. Your questions don’t have to follow any guidelines. Feel free to ask questions you think up.”

EditWorking in Groups to Generate Questions

Divide children into groups. Group work can encourage kids to work together, bounce ideas off of each other, and increase creativity. It’s okay if groups are moving at different paces. If one group is struggling to come up with ideas, don’t push them. Remind them of the activity and keep them on task.^[11]
- Encourage each child to contribute to the group without putting pressure on the children. Don’t make participation required through participation points. This can cause extreme stress for anxious and shy children.^[12]
Encourage questions around new topics. When a new topic is introduced, ask children what questions they’d like to have answered by the end of the unit. Encourage children to engage with materials and be curious about new things.^[13]
- For example, if you are doing a unit on the scientific process, children may ask, “When will I use this?"; "Will this help me understand science better?"; "Can I use this in other areas of my life?”
Make it fun. Children love games, so make question time into play. Allow children to get excited about asking questions. Play around with asking questions. Try to solve a problem with the group by allowing them to ask questions.^[14]
- Some examples include, “Can you make closed questions open questions?"; "Can you make a statement into a question?"; "How can you get more information by asking a question?”
Discourage children from answering the questions. As questions come up, the natural tendency is for the child (or other children) to provide an answer. Discourage these behaviors and encourage collaboration and generation of questions. Gently put the children back on track.^[15]
- Say, “We’re not to the part of answering questions, yet. We are not focused on doing anything but creating questions.”