How to Be Comfortable in Your Own Skin

Learn how to love and accept yourself as you are

If you find yourself feeling insecure in some situations, you're not alone. Everyone has times when they don't feel comfortable in their own skin. We're here to help you minimize that feeling so you can be more comfortable and confident. Learning to love yourself for who you are and appreciating all the wonderful qualities that make you, you is a great start. Keep reading for expert-backed advice.

This article is based on an interview with our executive life coach, Guy Reichard, founder of HeartRich Coaching & Trainin.

[Edit]Things You Should Know

• Embrace the qualities that make you stand out from everyone else and know that those are the things that make you unique and wonderful.
• Define yourself rather than letting others define you. Avoid comparing yourself to other people—focus on your own personal growth instead.
• Accept yourself as you are right now as someone who is worthy of love. Take little breaks to reconnect with yourself through movement, creativity, and laughter.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Embrace your unique qualities.

1. Identify the qualities that make you stand out from others. It's totally normal to feel like you're different from other people. But just remember—life would be incredibly boring if everyone was exactly the same! Celebrate the things about you that make you who you are.^[1]
   
   • For example, maybe you've always had a loud voice. It's part of who you are and what makes you special. Write down five things that are good about having a loud voice.
   • Don't worry if other people don't always accept or understand these parts of you. That's okay! They just might not be the right people for you to have around.
   • If you're having trouble identifying the qualities that make you unique, ask close friends or family members. They'll tell you the things that stand out to them.

[Edit]Seek validation within yourself.

1. Think of yourself as an incredible and beautiful person. Don't wait for other people to compliment you—compliment yourself! Recognize that your self-worth doesn't depend on what other people say about you, good or bad. Getting a positive comment from someone else certainly feels good, but true happiness and comfort come from within.^[2]
   
   • If you make it a habit to regularly compliment yourself, you're likely to start feeling more comfortable in your own skin. For example, you might say to yourself, "Wow, my hair looks great today!" Or, you might say, "I can see kindness in my smile and joy in my eyes."
   • This is a gradual process and it can take a while for you to really notice the effects, so don't give up! A little every day is all it takes to start moving in the right direction.

[Edit]Define yourself rather than letting others define you.

1. Don't let other people make you feel bad about yourself. When you put too much stock into what others think about you, it can distort your thinking. This can cause you to feel uncomfortable in your own skin because you feel like you're not living up to what others expect from you. Instead, decide who you are and express that openly. Don't compare yourself to anyone else or think you have to live up to anyone else's expectations.^[3]
   
   • For example, your family might think that you're not a success until you're married and have children. But if you don't want to have children, you don't have to! You can be successful and live a full and complete life without having children.
   • Remember: only you truly know what your fullest potential could be. No one else can map that out for you.^[4]
   • When you have negative thoughts about yourself, try asking yourself, "Would I talk to my best friend this way?"^[5]

[Edit]Think positively.

1. Start thinking about the best thing that could happen. If you get caught up in negative thoughts and always expect the worst, it can destroy your self-confidence. Instead, focus on the positive and start expecting good things to happen. It can result in you feeling happier and less stressed.^[6]
   
   • For example, if you're going to a party where you won't know a lot of people, you might think, "This gives me the opportunity to make new friends and step outside my comfort zone."

[Edit]Accept yourself as you are right now.

1. Embrace the idea that you're better off being who you really are. If you're not feeling comfortable in your own skin, you're likely holding on to beliefs about yourself that aren't true and aren't serving you. Recognize that you're safe and free to be yourself, and that you're a being who is worthy of love and acceptance just as you are.^[7]
   
   • Even if there are things about you that you want to change, that doesn't mean you can't accept yourself for who you are right now.
   • For example, if you feel uncomfortable talking to new people, you might say, "I am not always comfortable talking to new people and that's okay!" Then, set a goal to talk to at least one new person every day.
   • If you're struggling with weight loss, accepting and loving your body as it is can actually help you lose weight more quickly and easily than if you criticize and hate your body.^[8]

[Edit]Show yourself love.

1. Treat yourself the way you'd treat your best friend. Practice self-love by maintaining your boundaries and taking action where necessary to make sure your needs are met. If you sacrifice your own needs for someone else's, you might feel as though you don't deserve to have your needs met—and nothing could be further from the truth! Figure out what you need to do to feel good, then do more of those things.^[9]
   
   • For example, you might find that you need some "me time" to recharge after a big event or a party, so you decide you're only going to go out one night a week instead of two.
   • You might also join a club devoted to one of your interests so you can meet and interact with like-minded people who inspire you and make you feel like you belong.

[Edit]Move your body in fun, free ways.

1. Play some music and just dance. Dance movement can improve your body image and help you feel more comfortable in your own skin because you're focused on the way your body works and moves, not how it looks. As you dance, find joy in the way your body is moving and how it feels.^[10]
   
   • You can do this whenever you're feeling a little down—just a few minutes and a song or two is all it takes to help you feel a little more comfortable.
   • Dancing also helps you reconnect to your emotions and feel more comfortable with them.

[Edit]Express yourself creatively.

1. Try writing, painting, or making music. Keep an open mind about new experiences and avoid being judgmental about the process or what comes out of it. If you shut yourself down by telling yourself that you're just not a creative person, you can get stuck in a rut and lose out on some interesting and fun experiences.^[11]
   
   • For example, you might say that you don't want to take an art class because you've never been an artsy person. But if you try, you might find that you enjoy doing it, even if you're not necessarily the next Picasso.
   • Remember that you don't have to be great at something to enjoy doing it! For example, improv classes can be fun and enjoyable and help you keep an open mind, even if you've never considered yourself an actor.
   • Set aside a little time each day for play and creativity. It will help keep your mind fresh and make you feel happier overall, which will help you feel more comfortable in your own skin.

[Edit]Laugh at something funny.

1. Let go of tension by laughing at a video or movie. Have you ever heard that laughter is the best medicine? In a lot of ways that's true! Laughing triggers so many positive physical and mental changes and can truly make you feel better. When you laugh, you feel lighter, more focused, and more alert. If you laugh often, you'll reconnect with yourself and start to feel more comfortable in your own skin.^[12]
   
   • If you enjoy meditating, you might try laughing meditation to help ease your stress and reconnect with yourself in the moment.
   • Laughter also helps you shift your perspective and think more positively, which is important if you're trying to improve your self-image and feel more comfortable in your own skin.
   • When you're truly laughing, it won't be so easy to stop and doubt yourself. It will help you embrace the moment and feel happier being yourself.

[Edit]Practice gratitude.

1. Use a gratitude journal to list the things you're thankful for. Each day, write down at least one thing that you're feeling grateful for. Get creative with it! You could use different colored pens or draw pictures in the margins. When you're feeling down, take it out and read through the things you've written to remind yourself of all the good things in your life.^[13]
   
   • A gratitude journal helps you develop a more positive perspective because it forces you to focus on the good things in your life.^[14]

[Edit]Live in the moment.

1. Try to be fully engaged and present in each moment. Reflect on the things that bring you joy and make an effort to incorporate more of those things into your everyday life. Over time, you'll start to feel happier throughout the day and have a more positive mindset.^[15]
   
   • For example, if one of your coworkers brings you joy, you might make an effort to speak to them every day or even ask if they'd like to go out with you sometime after work or on the weekend.
   • Meditating can help you become more attuned to yourself and keep you more grounded in the present moment.
   • If meditation does good things for you, you might try yoga as well. Adding movement helps you get even more in tune with your body to feel more comfortable in your skin.

[Edit]Dress up for a night out.

1. Wear clothes that represent who you are as a person. When you wear clothes that are stylish and fit you well, you'll automatically feel a little bit better about yourself. If you look as though you fit in wherever you are, you'll also probably feel a lot more confident and like you belong. This can definitely help you feel more comfortable in your own skin.^[16]
   
   • Even if you're not necessarily dressing up, keep your clothes neat and clean and you'll automatically feel just a little more polished and put-together.
   • Walk and stand with confidence—even if you don't completely feel it. This is what people mean when they say, "Fake it until you make it." If you project confidence, you'll start to feel more confident.

[Edit]Set concrete goals for self-improvement.

1. Create goals and commitments that are aligned with your values. Think about what you value most in life and set goals to live up to and honor those core values. Don't worry if your values aren't the same as those of other people around you—focus solely on yourself and how you can be happier with yourself as a person.^[17]
   
   • For example, you might decide that health is one of your core values, so you can set goals to improve your health by eating more healthy foods and exercising more consistently.

[Edit]Start exercising regularly.

1. Commit to being more active to improve your mood and confidence. Find an activity that you enjoy doing and you won't feel like exercise is a chore that you have to force yourself to do. Exercising with a friend is a great way to keep yourself accountable and have fun at the same time.^[18]
   
   • Exercise doesn't have to be intense or strenuous. Even a brisk walk in the morning or in the evening after dinner can be good for your body and soul and help you feel more comfortable in your own skin.
   • Choose activity over inactivity whenever you can. For example, you might take the stairs instead of the elevator, or park further away and walk to your destination.

[Edit]Spend time on your passions.

1. Explore things you're passionate about to bring joy to your life. When you're doing something that brings you joy and happiness, you'll feel a lot more comfortable in your own skin. Your focus will be on the thing that you love and you likely won't feel nearly as self-conscious.^[19]
   
   • If you're not sure what you're passionate about, talk to others about things they enjoy doing—you might find your passion. Plus, listening to others speak about something with excitement can stoke your passion too.
   • Another way to find your passion is to write down everything that makes you feel lit up or energized. Do this for a week, then go back and look at your list and see what you've come up with.^[20]
   • Try something new every day, even if it's as simple as taking a different route home from work. It can be surprising how such a small change can shift your perspective and help you feel more comfortable with yourself.

[Edit]Surround yourself with positive people.

1. Build a support network of people who will lift you up. Sometimes it's hard to control the people that you have around you—at work or at school, you might not really have a choice. But as much as possible, keep people close to you who help you feel good about yourself and don't insult you, criticize you, or bring you down.^[21]
   
   • Try to develop closer relationships with the people you know who compliment you, care about how you feel, and treat you with care and love.
   • If you are in a situation where you have to be around someone who's negative, try to limit your interactions with them. Be polite, but don't seek them out or spend a lot of time with them when you don't have to.

[Edit]Take care of your body.

1. Think of all the wonderful things your body has done for you. It can be easy to stand in front of the mirror and nitpick all of your flaws. Instead of focusing on your flaws, shift your perspective to gratitude for all the amazing things your body has done and continues to do for you—not how it looks.^[22]
   
   • For example, if you're an athlete, your body has sustained you in competition and healed from injuries. If you've given birth, your amazing body has created and nurtured new life.
   • You might feel uncomfortable in your own skin because you're always feeling tired or unhappy. Get plenty of sleep and pay attention to your hygiene and you could start to feel better.

[Edit]Deal with personal issues that trouble you.

1. Heal what needs to be healed with care and compassion. If you have past trauma or other issues that you feel are holding you back, do what you can to heal from those. That might mean going to therapy, making lifestyle changes, or getting rid of toxic people in your life.^[23]
   
   • When you look at any issues you have, think of what you would tell a close friend to do if they had the same problems. Then, do that for yourself.
   • Sometimes this takes hard work—especially if it involves cutting off a toxic person who you consider to be a close friend. Just remind yourself that you'll ultimately be better off.

[Edit]Find a job that you love.

1. Try internships in different industries until something clicks. If you're not happy doing what you're doing right now, explore different career options. You likely have transferable skills that would be beneficial in a number of different fields. Don't be afraid to shift gears and move onto something else until you find something that you love.^[24]
   
   • If you're interested in transitioning to a different field, contact someone with experience in that field and ask for an informational interview so you can pick their brain about their work.
   • If you don't feel aligned with your work, you'll have a hard time being happy and feeling comfortable in your own skin. This is especially true if you dread work or feel like you're trapped in your job.
   • Don't worry about what other people might think about what you want to do. For example, maybe you're working as an accountant but the only job you ever really enjoyed was when you were a barista. Going back to being a barista doesn't mean you're a failed accountant—it means you're a happy and fulfilled person.

[Edit]Work on your self-confidence.

1. Practice projecting confidence to become more sure of yourself. If you're not feeling comfortable in your own skin, it's likely that you could use a confidence boost. When you're feeling uncomfortable, it can be natural to focus on your insecurities. But when you've done the work of embracing your unique qualities and accepting yourself for who you are, it becomes a little easier to approach others with confidence.^[25]
   
   • No matter where you are or what's going on, tell yourself that you belong there and that you're just as important as anyone else. Confidence means feeling good about who you are, where you are, and what you bring to the table.
   • Advocate for yourself assertively and don't be afraid to say "no" if someone asks you to do something that you don't want to do.

[Edit]Join a support group.

1. Talk to people who share your struggles to feel better. If, despite your best efforts, you still just don't feel comfortable in your own skin, a support group can help. Making connections with other people who have similar experiences will help you feel less alone and more comfortable in your own skin.^[26]
   
   • Look for groups online or through social media if you're not ready to talk to people in person.
   • When you recognize that you're not the only person who thinks and feels the way you do, it helps you feel more at ease and can make it easier for you to accept yourself.

[Edit]Related wikiHows

• Be Confident

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/12942-fostering-a-positive-self-image
2. ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-esteem/tips-to-improve-your-self-esteem/
3. ↑ [v161308_b02]. 26 April 2021.
4. ↑ [v162168_b01]. 24 June 2022.
5. ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-esteem/tips-to-improve-your-self-esteem/
6. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950
7. ↑ [v161308_b02]. 26 April 2021.
8. ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8708647/
9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sense-and-sensitivity/201401/3-ways-learn-love-yourself
10. ↑ https://www.eatingdisorderhope.com/blog/getting-comfortable-own-skin-dance-movement-therapy
11. ↑ [v162168_b01]. 24 June 2022.
12. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/laughter-is-the-best-medicine.htm
13. ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/tips_for_keeping_a_gratitude_journal
14. ↑ [v161429_b01]. 13 May 2020.
15. ↑ [v162168_b01]. 24 June 2022.
16. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/fashion-psychology/
17. ↑ [v161308_b02]. 26 April 2021.
18. ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-esteem/tips-to-improve-your-self-esteem/
19. ↑ [v161308_b02]. 26 April 2021.
20. ↑ [v161429_b01]. 13 May 2020.
21. ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-esteem/tips-to-improve-your-self-esteem/
22. ↑ [v162168_b01]. 24 June 2022.
23. ↑ [v161308_b02]. 26 April 2021.
24. ↑ [v162168_b01]. 24 June 2022.
25. ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/12942-fostering-a-positive-self-image
26. ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-esteem/tips-to-improve-your-self-esteem/