Are you feeling nervous about not having enough girlfriends to be at your wedding? You’re not alone! Don’t be fooled by photos on social media or wedding magazines—this is a super common experience. In fact, most Americans report having fewer close friends than they used to.[1] These days, a lot of people are having small weddings or weddings without bridesmaids. So, whether you’ve just moved and haven’t had the chance to make friends yet, or can’t think of anyone to be your bridesmaid, we’re here to help. Read on for suggestions on who to ask, how to make the most of not having a bridal party, and great alternatives to conventional wedding traditions.
[Edit]Things You Should Know
- Ask relatives, your fiancé(e) or your fiancé(e)'s friends to help you with bridal party tasks such as floral arrangements and bachelorette party planning.
- Invest in new hobbies as a way to make friends, or recruit your male friends to stand in as bridesmen.
- To avoid dealing with guests and a wedding party altogether, elope! You can spend the money you save on an extravagant honeymoon instead.
[Edit]Steps
[Edit]Assign bridal party tasks to relatives or other friends.
- Plan for the small ways not having bridesmaids will change the wedding. Although bridesmaids are usually in charge of managing the details that ensure your wedding goes perfectly, you’ll still have a wonderful wedding without bridesmaids. Delegate these tasks or work together with your partner for a seamless alternative to a bridal party.[2] Here are some other adjustments to make for a wedding without bridesmaids:
- The maid of honor often holds the bouquet at the end of the aisle. Pass this duty along to someone sitting in the front row – just let them know ahead of time.
- The length of the procession will be shorter. This means you’ll be at the end of the aisle with your fiancé quicker, but it also means you’ll need to adjust your procession song accordingly.
- Ask a family member to give the traditional maid of honor speech, or skip the speeches altogether and avoid crying into your napkin!
- The bridesmaids help decide on the menu and the florist, but deciding this with your partner is a sweet way to add their personal touch to the wedding day.
[Edit]Ask acquaintances to be your bridesmaids.
- Don’t be afraid to ask your not-so-close friends to be in your wedding. Avoid any awkwardness by addressing the lack of closeness directly, and express interest in becoming closer through your wedding planning. Although you might feel hesitant about asking them to be your bridesmaid, know that being a part of your bridal party is a great bonding experience, and might even strengthen your relationship.
- If you’ve grown distant from friends you care about, asking them to be your bridesmaid is also a great way to reconnect.
[Edit]Have your fiancé’s female relatives stand next to you.
- Having your fiance’s relatives next to you shows the unity of your families. A wedding is a celebration of your love, but it’s also the joining of your families. Having your fiancé’s female relatives in your bridal party is a beautiful way of displaying the intertwinement of your families. See if your partner’s mother, aunts, nieces, or cousins would want to join in on the wedding festivities![3]
[Edit]Don’t be afraid to have “bridesmen”.
- Ask your male friends and family to be in your bridal party. If your male friends and family are important to you, have them at the altar with you. The most important thing is that you feel supported and loved on your wedding day. Don’t be afraid to challenge the norm to achieve that! More and more couples are doing away with traditional bridesmaids and groomsmen and having mixed-gender wedding parties with bridesmen and groomswomen.[4]
[Edit]Put yourself out there and make new friends.
- Meet new friends through activities. If you’re in the beginning phases of wedding planning, you still have time to meet the perfect bunch to support you on your special day. Making new friends might sound intimidating, but signing up for cooking classes or gym classes is a great, low-stakes way to meet new people.[5]
- Join a book club at your local library to meet new friends.
- Start up a chat with neighbors or people in the grocery store line.
- It may seem silly to make friends just to have them at your wedding, but sometimes all you need to put yourself out there and meet your new best friend is the right push.
[Edit]Hire a professional bridesmaid.
- A professional bridesmaid attends your wedding and plays the part for the day. These days not having bridesmaids is so common, there are groups of women who have become professional bridesmaids to support brides on their wedding day. They’re easily found on online forums, and have a variety of price points depending on what you need for your wedding. So, whether you need someone to give your maid-of-honor speech, get ready with you, or just stand next to you in pictures, a professional bridesmaid can do it all.[6]
- Professional bridesmaids use a fake name, fake backstory, and tend to the small details like getting last-minute items, defusing drama, and fixing your wedding dress. They even participate in or organize pre-wedding celebrations like the bridal shower or the bachelorette party.
[Edit]Plan your own bachelorette party.
- Tailor your bachelorette party to be exactly how you want it to be. A bachelorette party is traditionally organized by the maid of honor, but if you’re a particular person this is your worst nightmare. Your wedding festivities should make you feel comfortable, thrilled, and cherished. Without a bridal party, you can celebrate with friends and family on your own terms, and without the surprise of things you didn’t want, or the absence of things you did want.[7]
[Edit]Do pre-wedding celebrations with your fiancé.
- Ditch the bachelorette party altogether and celebrate with your fiancé. No bridal party means more time as a couple! Plan pre-wedding events that make you feel excited, rejuvenated, or are heartfelt to your love story in preparation for your wedding.[8]
- Book a couples massage to release any tension before the big day.
- Visit the place where you first met, and reminisce on all the memories you’ve made together.
[Edit]Enjoy a quiet moment to yourself while getting ready.
- Avoid the frenzy during hair and makeup and have a moment alone. Weddings can be stressful. Sometimes all you want is a minute to collect your thoughts, and getting ready with bridesmaids, although fun, can be very hectic. Without a bridal party it’s just you, your hair and makeup artist, and a bit of peace and quiet before you walk down the aisle to the love of your life.[9]
[Edit]Use the money you save not having bridesmaids for your honeymoon.
- You can swing a luxe honeymoon if you save on wedding costs. Having bridesmaids can be pricey. When you’re paying for their hair and makeup, bridesmaids' dresses, and thank you gifts, the costs add up quickly. However, without bridesmaids, these costs get added to your honeymoon fund.[10] When you’re sipping piña coladas on a white sand beach with your husband, you won’t even think twice about not having had bridesmaids!
[Edit]Organize a small and simple wedding.
- Keep your guest list to less than 50 people to have a small wedding.[11] If you’re worried about not having enough friends to be in the audience of your wedding, look on the brightside, and think about the advantages of a small celebration! Don’t feel pressured to invite an extravagant amount of people just to fill up seats at your venue. An intimate ceremony ensures a smaller budget, your comfort at the wedding, and an authentic representation of the people who are most special to you.[12]
- A smaller wedding also means more funds for your honeymoon
[Edit]Consider eloping.
- If not having a lot of girlfriends is causing you a lot of stress, look into eloping. Your wedding is about you and your partner. You shouldn’t feel pressured by social media, friends, family, or traditional wedding culture to be someone you’re not and have a large wedding if that's not feasible for you and your partner.[13] Eloping allows you to focus on what matters most: celebrating the love you have for each other.[14]
[Edit]Have an intimate courthouse wedding.
- Easily arrange an intimate, stress-free ceremony at the courthouse. Sharing this special moment with only your fiancé is an easy remedy to your wedding anxieties. Simply choose the city hall or courthouse, research the marriage license requirements of where you live, and call your chosen venue to make an appointment. You’ll be on the road to happily ever after in a snap![15]
- Don’t worry about the romance being lost. City halls and courthouses often have stunning art and architecture that provide the perfect backdrop for your vows and “I do”s.
[Edit]Plan a small destination wedding.
- Fly to a new place to escape the pressure of having a long guest list. If you’re also worried about not having enough friends to invite as guests to your wedding, this is a great way to avoid questions. A small destination wedding isn’t out of the ordinary. In general, destination weddings are expected to be more private because only close friends and family will make the extensive trip for a wedding.[16]
[Edit]References
- ↑ https://www.americansurveycenter.org/research/the-state-of-american-friendship-change-challenges-and-loss/
- ↑ https://krostrade.com/blog/how-to-have-a-wedding-without-bridesmaids-and-groomsmen/
- ↑ https://vocal.media/marriage/what-you-should-do-if-you-don-t-have-enough-friends-to-be-bridesmaids
- ↑ https://moneywise.com/life/lifestyle/wedding-traditions-millennials-are-killing
- ↑ https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/aug/04/i-feel-lonely-ashamed-i-dont-have-friends-dilemma
- ↑ https://www.businessinsider.com/professional-bridesmaid-hired-by-strangers-to-be-their-friend-2020-7
- ↑ https://www.insideweddings.com/news/planning-design/what-happens-if-you-dont-have-a-bridal-party/41495/
- ↑ https://www.insideweddings.com/news/travel-honeymoon/why-you-and-your-partner-should-consider-an-earlymoon/41513/
- ↑ https://bridalmusings.com/72693/rasons-for-not-having-a-bridal-party/
- ↑ https://www.vogue.com/article/bridesmaids-wedding-planning-anxiety
- ↑ https://www.brides.com/what-is-considered-a-small-wedding-5112485
- ↑ [v162198_b01]. 23 August 2022.
- ↑ [v162198_b01]. 23 August 2022.
- ↑ https://www.insider.com/eloping-better-than-having-a-wedding-2019-4
- ↑ https://www.businessinsider.com/courthouse-wedding-marriage-ceremony-reasons-2019-10#want-to-elope-a-courthouse-wedding-can-happen-in-a-snap-3
- ↑ https://www.businessinsider.com/destination-wedding-things-to-know-advice-2019-10
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