How to Deal With People Talking About You Behind Your Back

It feels pretty awful to have people talk about you behind your back. Since this kind of gossip may be subtle, it’s often hard to pinpoint the source. For this reason, you’ll probably make matters worse by trying to confront the people gossiping. The best course of action is to ignore them. You might also engage in positive activities to cope and try to change your perspective on gossiping.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Handling People Who Gossip

1. Do nothing. Though you may be tempted to act out or confront the person, sometimes the best response is to ignore gossip. Just think: the person didn’t give you the consideration of saying what they said to your face. Don't give them the consideration of taking it any further. Stop the negativity train by completely ignoring it.^[1]
   
   • Many people gossip for attention or to get a reaction. If you ignore the gossipers, they may get bored and stop talking about you.
2. Treat them with kindness. Another great response to gossipers is a pleasant attitude. They will be bewildered as to how you could treat them so kindly when they have spoken negatively about you. Plus, if you reinforce your upbeat attitude, you may make the person feel guilty for talking about you in the first place.
   
   • Pay the other person a genuine compliment, like, “Wow, you worked really hard on these flyers, Rose! The graphics look great.”^[2]
   • Try to sound genuine, especially when giving compliments. You don't want to come off as sarcastic or insincere, as this will only make things worse.
   • If you can't find something to compliment them on, try helping them instead. For example, you could open a door for them or help them carry something heavy.
3. Set limits with gossipers. If you have to spend a lot of time with people who talk about you behind your back, keep them at arm’s length. Just because you have to be around them doesn’t mean you have to act like their best pal.^[3]
   
   • Be cordial, but refuse to get close to gossipers. Don’t tell them anything personal about you, which could later serve as ammo for even more gossip.
   • Chatting is not the only way gossipers can get personal information. If you suspect that they might gossip, don't give them your user name on social media.
4. Verify the motives of the messenger. If a dear friend or acquaintance was the one who told you about the gossip, you may want to make sure this person has your best interests in mind. Most good friends would rather not spread any negative information about you that may hurt your feelings. If this person is involved in the rumors, try to find out why they felt the need to come and tell you, and how they reacted to the rumors.
   
   • You might ask questions like, "How did you know this was going around?" or "What did you say when they were spreading that rumor?" You may even simply ask, "Why are you telling me this?" to better understand their motives.
   • You don’t necessarily have to end your relationship with the messenger. But, it may be wise to watch this person more closely. They may not be as innocent as they try to appear to be. They could be fueling the gossip rather than trying to stop it.
   • Let the messenger know that if someone has a problem with you or something you did, you’d rather them tell you about it directly than spread gossip. Say something like, “Next time you hear Aunt Margaret gossiping about me, please ask her to talk to me directly.”
5. Don’t engage in gossip. If you are being talked about, then you know how terrible it feels. However, you aren’t helping matters if you are guilty of gossiping, too. Some people just like to discuss others’ business, but they can’t do that if they don’t have an audience.
   
   • The next time someone tries to gossip to you, say, “You know, this is starting to feel like gossip. I’d rather not talk about her if she’s not here to defend herself.”^[4]
   • If you gossip about other people, then people will find it more difficult to take you seriously when you ask them to stop gossiping about you.
6. Talk to someone in authority. If malicious gossip is interfering with your performance at work or school, you may need to take the problem to a higher-up. A teacher, principal, or supervisor may be able to put a stop to the problem.
   
   • You might say, “I’m having trouble with another student/coworker. I think this person is spreading rumors about me and it’s really affecting my ability to focus at school/work. Can you talk to them?”
   • The student or employee in question may have a reputation for gossiping or bullying, so your superior may want to take disciplinary action.^[5]

[Edit]Coping with Being Talked About

1. Distract yourself. It can be hard to stay focused on your schoolwork or job when people are talking about you behind your back. Instead of giving your attention to the negativity, pour your energy into positive activities to distract yourself.
   
   • You might reorganize your desk, go for a walk around the block, go chat up a friend, or set a personal deadline to finish a project.
2. Spend time with positive people. When people are talking about you, it’s easy to feel isolated. Combat this feeling by making an extra effort to be with people who cherish you. These people can boost your mood, improve your self-confidence, and even make you forget negative gossip or rumors.^[6]
   
   • Call up your best friend and ask them to hang out. You might also spend more time with your partner or family.
3. Remind yourself how great you are. Being talked about behind your back can make you question your strengths and abilities. Don’t fall prey to self-criticism. Instead, try to remember your value as a person by purposefully thinking about what makes you great. Sit down and make a list.
   
   • Include all your positive traits, things you like about yourself and features others admire about you. You might list things like, “great listener,” “good shoulder to lean on,” or “creative.”^[7]
   • Try to give yourself at least one compliment each day. It can even be something small, like the pretty color of your eyes!
4. Do something nice for yourself. Positive actions bring about positive thoughts and feelings. When you’re getting down on yourself due to gossip, treat yourself as kindly as you would a friend. Try to schedule a little time to be nice to yourself every day. For example:^[8]
   
   • Walk your dog or play with your cat.
   • Listen to your favorite music or sing in the shower.
   • Write or draw something.
   • Consider giving yourself a bigger treat one per week, such as a manicure, going to the mall or movies, or eating your favorite ice cream.

[Edit]Reframing Gossip

1. Don’t take it personally. You can deal with people talking about you behind your back by remembering that their words are a reflection of them, not you. You can’t choose what others say about you, but you can choose how you react to it. Write off gossiping as something the other person needed to do for themselves. Refuse to be a victim of someone else’s issues.^[9]
   
   • For example, recognize that a person who gossips may be doing so because they feel insecure and are trying to make themselves look better by putting others down.
2. Realize they may be jealous. It may not feel like it when people are talking negatively about you, but this often happens because there’s something about you that intimidates them. The person may be envious of your looks, abilities, or popularity. Their nasty words may simply be a way to hurt you.^[10]
   
   • If someone is jealous of you, try to be nice to them. This will give them less gossip fuel.
3. Recognize poor self-esteem. Another common denominator about those who gossip is low self-esteem. People who talk badly about you may do that to make themselves feel better. The person talking about you may regularly feel negatively about themselves or lack self-respect. As a result, they talk negatively about others, too.^[11]
   
   • That’s why treating a gossip kindly or complimenting them may end the negative comments. These people may simply want some positive attention because they feel bad deep inside.

[Edit]Help Addressing Someone Who Talks Behind Your Back

Addressing a Friend or Coworker Who Talks Behind Your Back

Addressing a Friend or Coworker Who Talks Behind Your Back

Addressing a Supervisor Who Talks Behind Your Back

Addressing a Supervisor Who Talks Behind Your Back

[Edit]Related wikiHows

• Confront Friends Who Are Ignoring You
• Stop Your Friends from Making Fun of You
• Act in Front of a Friend when They Are Making Fun of You
• Deal With Bullying, Gossip and Rumors

[Edit]References

__

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/feeling-it/201612/8-things-to-do-if-youre-the-target-of-hurtful-gossip
2. ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/negative-feedback/
3. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/tips-for-setting-boundaries-at-work
4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/working-through-shame/201907/the-toxicity-gossip
5. ↑ https://www.apa.org/topics/healthy-workplaces/work-stress
6. ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/happiness/
7. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/self-esteem.html
8. ↑ https://au.reachout.com/articles/10-tips-for-improving-your-self-esteem
9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/feeling-it/201612/8-things-to-do-if-youre-the-target-of-hurtful-gossip
10. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/toxic-people/
11. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/me-we/201312/10-sources-low-self-esteem

How to Make a Messy Bun

The messy bun is a simple up-do hairstyle that you can do yourself at home, and this article can show you how! No matter how you throw your messy bun together, the end result should make you feel comfortable and glamorous.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Preparing to Create Your Messy Bun

1. Choose the perfect styling products. The following is a quick list of things you may already have around your home. Even if you don't have these things, don't worry, the messy bun can be easily created with just your fingers and a rubber-band. It is also easy enough to find all of the following items at your local 24-hour drug store. If you are thinking of creating a messy bun for a more important event like a wedding or prom you can plan ahead and find a store that specializes in carrying hair care products and accessories.^[1]
   
   • For the quick and simple messy bun up-do, you will need about 5 minutes, your fingers, and a rubber-band.
   • If you have more time, gather a soft brush, wide-tooth comb and an elastic ponytail holder. Preferably an elastic holder without a metal clasp to reduce the chance of hair damage.
2. Create a more sophisticated look. Select a light-weight mousse that will allow your hair to be easily pliable yet still appear soft and natural. For extra body, select a mousse that says it includes a volumizing agent. This will be displayed on the mousse bottle. If you have very soft and fine hair or want your messy bun up-do to last for a long time, pick out a hairspray that you like to ensure your messy bun stays intact.
   
   • For the most natural look, choose a hair spray with a micro-fine mist for minimal build up that you can apply and reapply without washing your hair.
   • For a more extreme edgy look, choose a hair spray that offers massive volume without stiffness.
   • If you have extremely soft or freshly washed hair, you can also experiment with dry shampoo or hair salt spray to add texture. (optional)
3. Add some originality, glamour or sophistication to your messy bun design. Purchase some plain bobby pins, decorative flowers, bling gem-studded hair pins, small decorative hair clips, or similar hair items.^[2] When searching for such items remember to keep them delicate and classy. (optional)
   

[Edit]Creating a Simple Messy Bun

1. Create a quick, simple, elegant look. Use your fingers to comb through your hair and bring it to the back or side of your head into a ponytail. Have your rubber-band within reach, or have your elastic holder placed on the wrist you're gathering your hair with. As you bring your hair all together, wrap the rubber-band around the whole of the hair until it feels secure but not too tight.^[3]
   
2. Bring the bun up. Next, you can either spin your ponytail into a single strip and then wrap it around the rubber-band and stick the end back under the rubber-band; or when you are forming the initial ponytail, with the last wrap of the rubber-band, intentionally don't pull the hair all the way through - leaving a large bouncy loop of hair.
   
   • Pull the loop of hair further through the elastic ponytail holder to make the bun bigger and/or allow some of the strands to fall through for the ultimate messy look.
   • Grasp the sides of the bun and widen the bun's radius by gently pulling the edges out to the sides. Selectively tug on the center of the loop to give it more of a U shape.
   • Pull the ends sticking through the underside of the elastic to the left and right so that they’re more flared out against your head. Tuck any unwanted fallen strands back into the elastic. If desired, wrap a few loose strands around the elastic and pin them with a bobby pin.
3. Put the bun at different levels. For a higher bun, flip your hair upside-down and gather it in your hands. This will increase your hair’s volume and help eliminate bumps. For a lower bun, gather your hair in the middle of your head or closer to the nape of your neck. The ponytail can be as high or low as you want it to be.
   

[Edit]Creating a Messy Bun Using Alternative Methods

1. Create a higher-end look with a more sophisticated style. Comb your hair with your wide-tooth comb and soft brush to free your hair of tangles and hidden hair accessories (ex: clips, bobby hands, etc.).
   
   • Apply two pumps of mousse to your hair starting at your roots and working the product to your ends.
   • Back brush/comb your hair to tease it and create more volume. Brush the front of your hair down over your forehead. Then back-brush it by placing the brush in the middle of the hair and gently brushing back toward the roots; do this until the desired level of teasing is achieved.
   • Repeat with the sides of your hair by lifting your hair and back-brushing again.
2. Get rid of bumps. Gather your hair into a smooth ponytail, smoothing out the bumps with your free hand. If smoothing unwanted bumps with your hand doesn’t work, use your wide-toothed comb. Hold your hair in place with one hand and secure it into a bun with the other.
   
3. Make a ballerina bun.^[4] Wrap your elastic around your hair once or twice to make a ponytail. Coil your hair around the base of your ponytail as if you were putting it in a ballerina bun. Flatten the bun to your head and secure it with either the same or an additional elastic (or by pinning it with bobby pins; when done well, this helps the look a lot).
   
4. Tease the bun hair. Use the elastic to secure a ponytail, hold the ponytail up behind you, and tease the ponytail by down brushing the hair toward the elastic holder. Spray with hairspray, if desired, then loop your hair once using a second elastic. Feed the loose ends of the hair through the loop, and then secure the entire looped bun with the remaining elastic. Allow the ends to poke out through a messy loop.
   
5. Work with longer hair. For those with hair 1-2 inches past your shoulders, loop your hair and wrap an elastic holder around it once. Feed the remaining hair through the first loop to create a second loop. Make sure to hold onto the ends of your hair so that they don’t slide through and undo the second loop. (Note that your first loop may get tighter as you pull your hair through to make a second.) Wrap the remaining elastic over both loops to secure them into a loose knot.
   
6. Finish the look. When you’re done, gently smooth your hair back over the crown of your head, and brush the edges of your hair to look less messy. Apply a thin layer of hair spray, if you plan on wearing your chic, messy bun for several hours or in harsh conditions.
   

[Edit]Accentuating the Completed Bun (Optional)

1. Add more body. Run your fingers through the front of your hair to loosen it from the elastic and add body. This look creates a more classic, crown look; perfect for the office.
   
2. Add a headband (or two). Slide your favorite or outfit-complimenting headbands on your head, two inches away from your hairline. If you have blond hair, use two black headbands or darker colored headbands. If you have brown or black hair, try using white headbands or a different light colored headband.^[5]
   
3. Add decorative hair pins, clips or jewels. Adding beautiful small bling or flowers will really make your look stand out. It is important that you don't over do it. The messy bun look is one of simplicity and elegance. Adding to much will make your messy bun look gaudy and unnatural.
   
4. Find out what works best for you. Play around with your hair until you've accomplished the perfect bun. Leave out strands of hair before you pull up the majority of your hair into the ponytail. Once you have created the main bun, separate your hair into strands in the pony-tail and individually twirl them into separate strands and wrap them around the bun securing each strand with a bobby pin so that you have multiple bun strands surrounding the main bun. Pull a full wispy pieces of hair out from the front and sides of your hair for a messy, whimsical look or lightly pull the hair at the back of the bun to loosen it and let it naturally fall.^[6]
   
5. Mist your entire head with hairspray. Make sure you spray about seven to eight inches away. If you are feeling really adventurous you can purchase glitter hair spray for a stunning sprinkle of glitter and shine!
   
6. Finalize your messy bun. There are several different ways to create your messy bun masterpiece. The more you play around with your own style, the more styles you will come up with that you like for yourself. The most important part of choosing to create a messy bun is that it look natural and not over-worked or too tight. When you are finished creating your messy bun look, you should feel relaxed, glamorous and whimsical. As you learn to master the craft, you will be able to control the look so that people will think you are naturally endowed with the perfect locks!
   

[Edit]Video

[Edit]Tips

• If your hair is not cooperating, wet your hand and apply a little water to your hair for assistance.
• This can easily be turned into a romantic look by softly curling the pieces of your hair to create small tendrils.
• For soft, morning waves bun your hair after showering the night before.
• Remember, a messy bun isn't supposed to be perfect. If it looks kind of casual it's fine.
• If your bun is really loose, just add bobby pins to the front, back, and sides for extra support.
• Don't comb your hair back too much when doing this. It will cause the hair to break and also cause split ends.
• Braid your hair at night so that it will be wavy, then in the morning (quickly) put it in a loose bun; then (if necessary) pull some of your hair out. You could put on a headband, beanie, or other hat to finish the look, or leave it as it is.

[Edit]Warnings

• Don't pull your elastics too tight, as they can break or damage your hair.
• Be patient when backcombing your hair.^[7] Use a paddle brush for best results and time-saving efforts.

[Edit]Things You'll Need

• Elastic ponytail holders
• Wide-toothed comb
• Soft brush
• Optional:
  • Mousse
  • Hairspray
  • Paddle brush
  • Bobby pins
  • Colored headbands

[Edit]Related wikiHows

• Have Great Hair
• Make a Bun
• Do a Curly Bun
• Make a Messy Bun With Extremely Long Hair

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ https://www.marieclaire.co.uk/beauty/hair/how-to-do-a-messy-bun-27896
2. ↑ https://www.marieclaire.co.uk/beauty/hair/how-to-do-a-messy-bun-27896
3. ↑ http://missysue.com/2018/05/2-easy-messy-buns/
4. ↑ https://www.goodlifeeats.com/how-to-make-a-perfect-ballerina-bun/
5. ↑ http://www.seventeen.com/beauty/hair/advice/g1470/perfect-loose-bun-hi-1107/?slide=1
6. ↑ http://www.seventeen.com/beauty/hair/advice/g1470/perfect-loose-bun-hi-1107/?slide=1
7. ↑ https://stylecaster.com/beauty/how-to-backcomb-hair/

How to Old Souls

How to live your best life as an old soul

People have said you’re an “old soul” before, but what did they really mean by that? What is an old soul, and what qualities define them? We’re here to explain everything. Being called an old soul could be considered quite the compliment! As an old soul, you have a unique and profound way of looking at the world, which likely tends to impress the people you meet. Keep reading to discover all the signs of an old soul so you can figure out if you truly are one, plus tips on how to flourish in life as an old soul.

[Edit]Things You Should Know

• Old souls are people who feel wise beyond their years and mature for their age group. If you’re an old soul, you’re highly sensitive and insightful.
• As an old soul, you may be curious and thirsty for knowledge. You’re also likely introverted and enjoy lots of alone time to recharge your social battery.
• You’re likely patient, empathetic, and rebellious if you're an old soul. People tend to go to you for advice because they sense your wisdom and maturity.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]What is an old soul?

1. An old soul feels older and wiser than their age reflects. The concept of old souls originates in the spiritual idea that bodies are vessels for souls, and if you’re an old soul, your soul continues to reincarnate.^[1] However, today, old souls aren’t necessarily a spiritual thing. Rather, being an old soul can simply mean you have lots of empathy, mental acuity, intuition, and insight into yourself and the world around you.
   
   • Generally, old souls are seen as understanding, thoughtful, patient, and extremely wise.
   • You may feel like an old soul from the moment you’re born, or you may develop the characteristics of an old soul as your reincarnated soul awakens.

[Edit]Signs You’re an Old Soul

1. You aren’t materialistic. You rarely find happiness in material possessions or money as an old soul. What you value most are the things that can’t be bought: friends, family, knowledge, peace, and security. You don’t feel the need to follow the latest trends, have a high social status, or boast about having the most expensive technology or fashion. You may be an old soul if you feel like there’s something more important than the material world around you.^[2]
   
2. You’re an intellectual who loves knowledge and truth. Old souls are inquisitive and smart, which means you likely consider yourself a student of life, always curious about the world and how it works. You love discovering new facts, wisdom, and truths— to you, everything is a learning opportunity. You may be an old soul if you’re curious about everything, from history to the details of your best friend’s life.^[3]
   
3. You’re wise beyond your years. Do many people consider you mature for your age or openly call you “wise beyond your years”? One key aspect of being an old soul is wisdom; you often grow up feeling more mature than others of your age, having a deeper understanding of the world than others, and having interests typical of older generations. You may have the feeling that you’ve already seen it all before.^[4]
   
4. You felt like an outsider among other kids your age as a child. As an old soul, you likely don’t have the same interests as other people in your age group and find it harder to make friends with people you can’t relate to. Thus, as a child, you may have been called introverted, precocious, and even rebellious by adults—and you may have felt alienated around other kids because they were at a different maturity level.^[5]
   
   • Did you feel like you didn’t quite belong among your classmates at school? Did you often find adults talking to you like you were an adult yourself? If so, you may be an old soul.
5. You crave meaningful connections with people. If you’re an old soul, you likely spent your childhood feeling lonely and finding it hard to make new friends—and therefore, today, you look for sturdy, long-lasting friendships built on a genuine connection. You also tend to enjoy deep conversations over small talk! You might be an old soul if you prefer a few close friendships over many acquaintances.^[6]
   
6. You feel strong empathy for others. Empaths and old souls often go hand-in-hand. Both feel connected to people and tend to be more considerate of them. However, this can also be a draining experience leading to higher sensitivity and anxiety from consistently worrying about other people’s well-being. You may also be an old soul if you show all the signs of an empath.^[7]
   
   • Old souls also tend to care more about world affairs and making a difference. You might be an old soul if you often think about ways to make the world a better place.
7. You’re very introspective. Don’t be surprised if you’re constantly contemplating everything and, at times, overthinking. As an old soul, you often get in your own head and ask deep questions about your purpose, life, ethics, and world issues. Developing self-awareness is important to you, so you prioritize reflection and introspection in your daily lives.^[8]
   
   • You likely learn from your mistakes and have a deeper understanding of the world around you because you’re always thinking!
   • However, that level of introspection can also cause you to overthink and obsess over what you could do better or how to fix your issues.
8. You prefer spending time at home alone. As an old soul, you tend to be more introverted and enjoy being alone more than being out in a crowd of people. While you have a close-knit group of friends and like spending time with them, your higher sensitivity means it’s easier for you to get drained by everyday interactions. You may find that you have to take time to recharge sooner and more frequently than others.^[9]
   
9. You're often asked for your advice. Old souls are often perceived as wise, mature, and level-headed by peers, which is why friends and family likely flock to you for advice and trust your opinions. Knowing all your friends’ problems and being their counselor may be overwhelming, but you usually don’t mind. You enjoy being able to guide others and make them feel supported.^[10]
   
10. You find ways to challenge the status quo. As an old soul, you think outside the box and have a rebellious streak because of your wisdom and maturity. You tend to be skeptical of established norms and rules because you understand that just because someone tells you there’s a right way to do something, doesn’t mean it’s true. You prefer to make your own way in life instead.^[11]
    
    • For example, did you often ask “Why?” as a child when someone told you to do something?
    • Do you often try to understand the reasoning behind certain conventions rather than mindlessly following them? If so, you may be an old soul.
11. You know how to step back and see the bigger picture. If you’re an old soul, you probably don’t get lost in superficial details. You understand that life is short, and it’s important to make the most of it, which means you’re less likely to get upset over things that ultimately don’t matter. You prefer to spend your time as meaningfully as possible, doing things that will bring you happiness or make a difference in the world.^[12]
    
    • For example, if you’re an old soul, you might not get what’s so great about being popular in school (or in the workplace). Popularity is fleeting, and you’re more concerned with the bigger picture of where you want to go in life.
    • Old souls also want to have a purpose in life. If you’re an old soul, you’re probably not the type to drift aimlessly—you want to make a plan and have something to strive for.
12. You recognize fellow old souls when you meet them. Although old souls tend to be loners, it’s usually not hard for you to spot a kindred spirit. Some believe that, as an old soul, you subconsciously look for fellow old souls because you want to find people like you and make a meaningful connection.^[13]
    
    • This also connects to the idea that soulmates (or twin flames) can intuitively sense one another.
    • If you feel like you have an inexplicably deep connection with someone who also has traits of an old soul, it might be a sign that you're soulmates or twin flames.
13. You see the world through a poetic lens. Are you someone who knows how to stop and smell the roses? If you’re an old soul, you tend to appreciate the small, beautiful details in the world that other people might just walk by and ignore. You likely take time to contemplate life and the things you see, whether it’s the sight of a dazzling sunset or the skill and hidden meaning within a piece of art.^[14]
    
14. You’re a spiritual person. If you’re an old soul, you likely have a sensitive, spiritual nature. Because old souls are related to reincarnation and spiritual awakenings, you may prioritize things like self-realization, seeking enlightenment, and spreading virtues like love and peace wherever you go. You see life as a spiritual journey and always look for ways to grow spiritually.^[15]
    
    • Do spiritual topics like reincarnation, life, and death appeal to you? Do you enjoy learning about spiritual beliefs or practices? You might be an old soul.
    • You likely also understand life's fleeting nature and sometimes contemplate mortality. That’s not necessarily a bad thing—it means you know how important it is to live life to the fullest!
15. You like the idea of a simple, minimalistic life. As an old soul, you might seem like a complicated person on the outside—but inside, you truly crave simplicity. You likely see the true beauty and purity of a simple life and try to live like a minimalist; you’re most relaxed and peaceful when you can keep things as simple as possible.^[16]
    
    • For example, you're probably great at going through your old stuff and discarding items because you know how to tell what really matters and what's unnecessary.
16. You prefer spending time with people older than you. Because your old soul is more mature than other people your age, you might decide to hang around people a few years older than you. Their maturity is closer to your own, making it easier for you to relate to them. It may even feel comforting to be around older people because it’s thought that their energy better matches your own internal energy.^[17]
    
    • Are multiple people in your friend group older than you—maybe even by several years? Did you get along better with adults than other children as a kid? You might be an old soul.

[Edit]Is having an old soul good or bad?

1. Being called an “old soul” is typically a compliment. If you’re an old soul, your unique perspective on life likely makes you wise and more mature than other people your age. You’re thoughtful, considerate, give great advice, and approach life with more experience and understanding, giving you a leg up as you tackle challenges—and those are all good things! Thus, being an old soul is generally positive.^[18]
   
   • Conversely, if you’re an old soul, you may have mixed feelings about it. Because old souls are so wise and often perceived as more old-fashioned, you may feel isolated from others.
   • Ultimately, having an old soul is good—it’s all about your personal feelings. Luckily, even if you feel isolated, there are always ways to connect with people and build a stronger social circle.

[Edit]Where do old souls come from?

1. Your old soul may have awakened through reincarnation. The spiritual explanation for old souls is that you subconsciously carry memories from past lives that give you special insight into the world from a young age. That’s why you may enjoy retro pastimes popular among older generations and be naturally talented at certain things—it’s because of the memories from your past lives.^[19]
   
   • Some theorize that everyone is born with a connection to their past selves, but as an old soul, you’re one of the few whose connection hasn’t been stifled throughout childhood by your parents, culture, or society.
2. You may have undergone a spiritual awakening during your life. It’s thought that nearly every old soul goes through a process of spiritual awakening, causing your soul to mature. This spiritual awakening is believed to be caused by life-changing events like childhood trauma, marriage, divorce, birth, death, illness, or tragedy. Upon experiencing something so significant, your soul awakens and connects to its past experiences.^[20]
   
   • It’s also thought that, in some cases, spiritual awakening can be totally spontaneous. You might experience it naturally as you go through life.
   • Ultimately, a spiritual awakening may help you search for true happiness and fulfillment.
   • Even if you’re not sure about the spiritual side of old souls, some believe that life-changing events simply force you to grow up faster than your peers, thus giving you traits of an old soul.
3. You may have traits of an old soul if you’re highly sensitive. When you have lots of empathy and intuition, you may also naturally be more tuned into the bigger picture and the world around you, giving you traits of an old soul. For example, high sensitivity may help you take in the fine details of your environment and be more aware of when someone or something just doesn’t feel right—making you a wise and intuitive old soul.^[21]
   
   • Ultimately, there’s no “proven” way to become an old soul or any concrete way to explain the concept—after all, “old soul” is simply a term used to describe those who seem uncommonly mature for their age.

[Edit]How to Live Well as an Old Soul

1. Do inner work to increase your self-awareness. As an old soul, you likely strive for self-awareness and fulfillment—and inner work may help you achieve those things. Inner work is the practice of using self-reflection to connect with your inner self and find a sense of purpose.^[22] It’s a combination of cultivating self-love, practicing mindfulness, and confronting issues that might be weighing on you. To do inner work:
   
   • Meditate to be more present and ground yourself. While meditating, check in with yourself; ask yourself how you feel.
   • Keep a journal and record your experiences and ideas there. Journaling can be a great way to gain clarity when your mind feels confused or clouded.
   • Contemplate issues carefully. If you’re grappling with a problem, reflect on it and how it may connect to your values. Reflection might help you unlock new solutions!
2. Surround yourself with like-minded people. Old souls tend to thrive with fellow old souls to spend time around—people with the same awareness and qualities. Start befriending individuals who tend to think the way you do and think of themselves as old souls! A like-minded inner circle can be a supportive, positive influence in your life.^[23]
   
   • For example, try meeting people with similar interests to yours. A fellow old soul will probably find joy in the same things you do.
   • Look for social and community events that appeal to you, and join online communities related to your interest. Odds are, you’ll meet like-minded people there.
3. Strike a balance between wisdom and playfulness. You may be wise beyond your years, but don’t let that stop you from having fun! After all, fun isn’t something limited to a particular age. Focus on maintaining a positive, playful spirit in your daily life, and remember to balance the moments of seriousness and introspection with joy and lightheartedness.^[24] For example:
   
   • Try new things! The more you explore brand-new activities and experience the unexpected, the more whimsical life feels.
   • Smile and laugh throughout the day, whether that means joking around with friends or watching your favorite comedy show.
   • Blast your favorite songs and dance around to them simply because you can.
   • Cultivate positivity by expressing gratitude for the tiny, everyday things in life that make you smile.
4. Protect your energy and take time to recharge when you need it. As an old soul, your high levels of empathy and sensitivity can likely be pretty draining at times. Therefore, it’s important to protect your energy levels and take care of yourself! If you’re feeling tired or emotionally exhausted, don’t ignore it and overextend yourself. Make time for yourself to relax and recharge that social battery.^[25] For example:
   
   • Don’t be afraid to set boundaries and say “no” if making plans is going to cause you anxiety. Don't let other people pressure you into anything!
   • Solo hobbies can be a soothing buffer between the time you spend socializing. Plan to spend time each week doing an activity that makes you happy.
   • Spending time in nature can be super soothing. Try walking somewhere by yourself, whether it's through your neighborhood, along a hiking trail, or down a sandy beach.

[Edit]Tips

• Being an old soul doesn't limit your ability to be active. Continue living like you always would.

[Edit]References

1. ↑ https://www.thepsychicline.com/psychic-blog/what-old-soul-brief-guide
2. ↑ https://www.thepsychicline.com/psychic-blog/11-signs-you-are-old-soul
3. ↑ https://themindfool.com/old-souls/
4. ↑ https://www.thepsychicline.com/psychic-blog/11-signs-you-are-old-soul
5. ↑ https://youtu.be/3axOKXD83Qs?t=48
6. ↑ https://www.thepsychicline.com/psychic-blog/11-signs-you-are-old-soul
7. ↑ https://themindfool.com/old-souls/
8. ↑ https://youtu.be/3axOKXD83Qs?t=159
9. ↑ https://themindfool.com/old-souls/#Old_Soul_Signs
10. ↑ https://www.thepsychicline.com/psychic-blog/11-signs-you-are-old-soul
11. ↑ https://themindfool.com/old-souls/#Old_Soul_Signs
12. ↑ https://www.moonomens.com/5-signs-you-are-an-old-soul/
13. ↑ https://www.moonomens.com/5-signs-you-are-an-old-soul/
14. ↑ https://themindfool.com/old-souls/#Old_Soul_Signs
15. ↑ https://www.moonomens.com/5-signs-you-are-an-old-soul/
16. ↑ https://themindfool.com/old-souls/
17. ↑ https://www.thepsychicline.com/psychic-blog/11-signs-you-are-old-soul
18. ↑ https://dreamhumanity.com/2023/04/24/what-is-an-old-soul-understanding-the-meaning-traits-and-signs/
19. ↑ https://otherworldlyoracle.com/signs-youre-an-old-soul/
20. ↑ https://otherworldlyoracle.com/signs-youre-an-old-soul/
21. ↑ https://otherworldlyoracle.com/signs-youre-an-old-soul/
22. ↑ https://www.atpweb.org/jtparchive/trps-16-84-01-063.pdf
23. ↑ https://subconsciousservant.com/old-soul-life-purpose/
24. ↑ https://ct.liveyourtruth.com/signs-youre-an-old-soul/
25. ↑ https://ct.liveyourtruth.com/signs-youre-an-old-soul/